Wyn's Playlist

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Chooses  — November 26, 2016


He needs her to stand and win

The battles in the battle ground

Victory is in this

The wrong alignment isn’t for brother

He knows she has his heart 

HER alignment is for brother

He knows it’s her

He needs her and wants to win

He chooses to win

Brother knows what to do

Brother chooses you

Brother chooses truth 

Trust the process that leads to you

No shelter for you

Declaration popped up

It’s not wrong

Brother knows it’s you 

He chooses truth 

Schemes knows the new 

Schemes knows the truth 

Schemes wants the food or blues 

There’s no fear in here

Schemes chooses to hurt the truth 

Tell what’s new 

Old life what’s new 

Old life what’s new 

He chooses you 

Brother chooses truth 

It’s time to trust truth 

It’s time to choose 

He chooses new 

She chooses new 

She chooses new

Brother chooses new 

2017 is the freedom

The Lab is true

Lies wants to hurt me 

Lies choose truth 

They are dead 

Not yet in spirit 

Brother is fazing out of familiar places 

But not yet 

Lies are dead 


The family accepted what’s to be 

But it’s not yet 

Prayer Entry #2 —

Prayer Entry #2


Father God, I come to lift up my sister Nicole* in prayer. Father God be with her as you have been prompting her with truths that she has been ignoring. Continue to be the one to guide her path to be align with you, and not lean on her own understanding. Move her out of her own way God. Father God, show her that your love is the healing and the meal that she needs. What she is looking for will not be satisfy somewhere else, but only in you. Lord you have this, take the wheel on her life. I lift her up to you because you are the Father of the perfect Son, who gave the world the blood to change us. To shed us. Shed her old wine skin Lord, to a new one. Shed her ways Lord to new ones to look more like you. Father, part the seas in her life to find freedom in Jesus. I pray for her peace Lord. Amen. 

Note: I’ve been wrestling with God with posting my prayers. I felt that they should be kept hidden, but as God continues to work in me and my vulnerability, I surrender the control of me holding myself back from others on who God is calling me to be. As I am lead or heart pressed to write prayers for my brothers and sisters in Christ, I know that God is pushing me outside of my comfort zone. 

(* denotes name change for privacy reasons)

Brother — November 23, 2016


The party has started 

He’s letting the army, go see the victory

So get started

Words matter untattered 

Freedom in victory is where it started 

Be free

Seek peace 

Words matter uncharted

Brother is disable, because of what he started

Brother is real, but not in reality 

Brother stands, but not glances 

He dances but not swatches, unable to see his abilities 

Brother is ready, palms steady, arms ready 

Brother is ready, palms steady, arms ready 

She can’t delay what’s meant to be, she has to see the target in this and be set free 

She can’t delay what’s meant to be, she has to see the target in this and be set free 

Freedom is something he can’t understand 

Brother is ready and he will see

In due time get ready and God proceeds

3:35 am — November 21, 2016

3:35 am

3:35 am 

She’s ahead and not stopping 

It’s a stead that the dews comes in

I need joy to know mourning 

I need joy to know mourning 

I need joy to know mourning 

She’s redeemed

Release, I’m free to know the victory 

I need to know joy to know mourning

I need to know joy to know mourning 

I need to know joy to know mourning 

I need joy to mourning 

Need joy to know mourning

Need pain to find glory 

Need to be redeemed 

Choose fear over love to get haunted and wanted

To be seen I chase the scene

I don’t see what you want me to see

I want confidence in what is order 

I don’t want distort or disorder 

To what is the victory 

Jesus release me please

I choose to be free

I want to be free

I’m getting I’m dying 

I’m lying in this poetry probability 

The sea is deep to what to believe

The lies are misguides to what has to die

I want truth but don’t want you to see that I’m something that spills poison on to the onscreen 

I lie because it hides

So victim becomes routine

I choose to be free but it’s not seen 

I’m a victim of conformity 

I’m a victim of parody 

You want rhymes, so does lies 

I can’t change, I’m trapped 

I’m a victim of this wrap 

You want a path that’s hard for us 

God is vine, he wants the path that’s hard for us

 We want what’s hard in our turf

I did it and still have to surrender 

When it was short lived 

It just begun and I’m joining 

Take that however you want 

You’re not alone, you never was 

You had to wait for us to catch up 

Now we’re done 

Stop arriving before the stop 

We’re here as one, that separation won’t won

You can keep it

It meets the music 

And feeds the feeder

I’m just the teller that needs the savior and what’s his purpose

I’m so broken and over it 

I’m so hurt and damaging 

I’m so agonizing over everything 

I need his freedom to believe again 

I wont go when I’m not bottled 

I want purpose or his freedom

There’s something that’s happening with my chest 

It’s a race mode or a pace, is what I get

He made his decision based on warranty 

He choose her due to his fear of you 

You don’t “need him because he’s slim, dim and coldly not boldly trims”

You need him because he’s all of it 

That’s what you fear not the truth 

You trust the truth when you don’t want to

You went ahead and now you must wait for him

It’s 3:55 am

Frontiers  — November 20, 2016


I cannot feel your love so strong and still, 

From where I’ve hidden.

I cannot hear your voice above my will, 

But still You listen.


I don’t understand why I can’t shake this bothersome feeling of wanting to tell the principal of my job “you suck!” I have a deep urge of wanting to curse him out. Of wanting for him to pay for all the bull he told me, and all the bull he put me through. I just want to see him bleed out or something. The misery that he is feeling is not enough to me. I get that this isn’t Christ like, but God I’m on my last stripe of grace, that he has put me through. I don’t trust any word that comes out of his mouth. He’s a liar and manipulator, and I don’t want to teach anymore because of him God. The bull I have to go through on this campus is too much. I’m so over it. I am over being here, and just working in what seems like a toxic environment. 

Father God, I work with people who don’t want me to succeed, and want for me to just be their assistant; so that I can make them look good. I work with broken people who want to break and stay broken. I’m so over it. Father God, please continue to remove this pain from my heart. I need you God. I need you to release this heaviness, that I have in my heart. I need you God. I can’t stand to come into this building anymore. I just can’t God. Please make moves in my heart God. Give me the words for this meeting on Monday. Please God. Amen. 

And all the while,

You call me to your grace,

All that I undid fades


I surrender my fears God. I say yes to trusting you with this platform that you are calling me to. Father God, I choose to believe and trust you in what you keep saying is coming. Lord, clouds blind, so I choose for you to open up my heart, and mind. Lord, open my eyes in the way that I’ve never experienced before. Father God, I come to you wanting to say yes to your plans for me, because they rare and better than mine would ever be. 

A roach crawled on me while I was on a bus. I screamed on the bus to the point I gave myself a headache. I scream to the point I’m so sick. I surrender Father God so many things, because that encounter with the roach brought on humility. I struggle with humility. Father God, I come to you wanting to surrender whatever shred of fear that I have towards what you God. Trusting you is daily surrendering, and in those daily moments that’s when I would be able to discern more, and see things more clearly from a spiritual sense; and that teaches me to let go of seeing things from my flesh perspective by me leaning on my own understanding. 

Lead me to the end of myself,

Take me to the edge of something greater.

God I come to you wanting to surrender whatever it is that I’m blocking myself from making identification towards, or having awareness in. I come to you God, recognizing that the very thing that I would get upset at my mother from doing, I’ve internalize it to the point that it’s now in an active habit, that has been causing some of the dysfunction in my sisterhood with Regina Ann*. I’ve come hear to make awareness, and acknowledge on what I have been doing. It’s beyond broken, and it’s not okay. That’s not what you find pleasing. This is not why you ordained our sisterhood. This is not why you called us to where you have us. 


12:56 am; everything has a godly solution, it’s just up to us as individuals to want to seek that godly solution, and not stay in the ugly known problem, where we have worldly solutions that does not edify you God. That’s why our solutions never work. 

I’m looking out beyond this great unknown,

Though I can’t see it.

One day I’ll see the place You call my home,

Lord, I’ll be near it.

Father God, the reality check that I had yesterday, with how I handle things in such an ungodly fashion is making me see that I can no longer stay in what feels like a dirty container. Leaning on my own understanding is a dirty container, that hasn’t been washed. Father God, a lot of what I’ve picked up, and projected on others, like Regina Ann has unfortunately come from my surroundings, and upbringings from my parents. 

I love my parents God, and I know that you have them, and I’m grateful for that. But I do wrestle with trusting you to save them when I believe I can. I have seen so much manipulation, and mind games from my parents that when I would called them out on it, they would deny it or get defensive; and I would shut down knowing that means I can’t talk, or be open with them. I realize this is what I do with my sisterhood with Regina Ann. When she calls me out, I do what my parents do to me. Instead of Regina Ann shutting down, she gets fired up and ready to overturn all my lies, and my attempts to avoid walking through my brokenness. I see how she sharpens me God. I don’t like it, and I do avoid it. But you’re bigger God. You’re so much bigger God.

And all the while,

You call me to your grace,

All that I undid fades

Which is why I am an adult having trouble identifying my flaws and transgressions. Because I don’t want to see them. I don’t want to deal with my issues. Getting defensive after being corrected, or even just shutting down isn’t working anymore God. It doesn’t do anything to edify your Kingdom. Father God, I’ve taken on these traits, and have just allowed them to be paralyzing fear, and now here I am living with all these broken emotions in me, and I’m being fixated with the negative. I am not even pushing for positive, or healthy traits to form healthy relationships in my sisterhoods. I did not actively fight to be better. I actively did not fight to see things, and push for truth. Instead I try to sleep them off. I choose the easy way out. No longer do I want to continue this routine God. No longer can I look at this mountain and seek you not moving it. Keep using Regina Ann. I’m grateful for her. 

Father God, here I am surrendering all I’ve done, and have acquired knowing that I have to see the accountability, and ownership that I have to take in acting on fear, instead of choosing love. Father God I come to you no longer wanting to take in, and continue to focus on the negatives. Father God show me how to be okay with having your healing even though I see the ones I love so much, choosing brokenness. Show me how to be okay with your healing in me, and trusting in you to do the same work in my parents, and in my sister. Please Father God, please show me how to take a leap of faith in this area God. Please God show me how to trust you will do the work in my family, without fighting to stay broken with them. Please God show me the way.

Lead me to the end of myself,

Take me to the edge of something greater.

Lead me to the end of myself,

Take me to the edge of something greater.


I want to be alone right now God. Being in this church building, and seeing people and hearing people talk is a lot for me. Why am I in New Life? I didn’t want to forgive your daughter. You know every strand on her head. I forgave your other daughter, because she suffered and she’s hurt and she looks it. So I see she needs my forgiveness. I don’t want to forgive your other daughter. She doesn’t look broken like the one I forgave does. I was vengeful towards these women, and many of them because of how they were with that man you show me as my ribcage. 

I’m over all of this. I don’t know what else to say, but I choose to forgive and surrender my heart and anger. I choose love and not vengeance. I no longer choose brokenness. God you have all of this. Be with these women, and all women who were affected by that man’s decisions and actions. 

I am standing on the great frontiers,

Of your love, of your love.

You have overcome my deepest fears,

With your love, with your love.

God this is why I am very fearful of him being my ribcage, because why is he going to be so different with me when he choose to be crappy with those other women? I can’t go through a relationship with a man on a god complex, trying to manipulate me into thinking we have a chance. That’s what this man you keep showing me did to these women. God I let go of these fears, and I let go of my hurt: but there is a leap that I have to take. 

I’m wrestling with you God on this. I’m very hesitate with this man you keep showing me God is my ribcage. In my mind: I just can’t be aligned with you, and then not see it coming when he badly hurts me. I just can’t go through it God, because then it makes me believe that I chose man above you. I never want to do that. I’m seeing how broken that is from your other daughters. God I don’t want to look like the walking dead. God I don’t want to look like damaged goods, like so many of your daughters look like. I never want to look that destroyed because a man selfishly decided to break and take from me. I never want to look like I was dumb enough, to allow myself to let a broken man break me. That’s a misrepresentation as your daughter. That’s a misrepresentation of your Great Name God.

I am standing on the great frontiers,

Of your love, of your love.

You have overcome my deepest fears,

With your love, with your love.

So God I’m willing to let go, and have you God. I am just free in you, and to never put man above you. I’ve done these things in the past for days with my job, and everything and I can’t do it anymore. I don’t want to put anything above you. I don’t want to put my principle above you. I choose you God, not any man, or anything in this world. You can have it all God. I understand that this man has my heart, but I can’t do things the wrong way. I just can’t God. I’d rather be single forever if I do it wrong with this man you say is mine God. I choose your way only. 

I choose to trust this man God wholeheartedly. I choose to be okay with being set free. I choose to leap into the unknown. I choose to love this man wholeheartedly, and unafraid regardless of what he has done in the past. I choose to see how much this man has changed, and will continue to change. I choose love over, and over again no matter what comes our way. I’ll take the hits for this man. I won’t be afraid to boldly love you God or this man. 

I am standing on the great frontiers,

Of your love, of your love.

You have overcome my deepest fears,

With your love, with your love.

Father God, I say yes to it all, and the road you lead us into day after day. I choose truth, and to trust you. I no longer choose to trust my own understanding, because that doesn’t lead us nowhere. We are one. A covenant that you ordained God, and I choose this: us. I love you freely God, and I always will. I speak truth instead of fear. Love instead of lies, because this man is ready, and this man is near. You do you God, and I will appear. Shoot my arrow God and aim where you want me to go God. God shoot your love through my penetrating broken, and very fragile heart. You have it all Jesus. You always did, now I walk through it without any fear. I choose love and forgiveness. I choose to walk through you God making all things new. God lead me to the end of myself. God take me to the edge of something greater. I love you God. In Jesus name, amen.

Frontiers off of the Vertical Church Band track-titled album is a song that I’ve come to deeply love and appreciate due to where I am. Music has a way that is heard but when you are walking through your awakening it’s the same song that has a new meaning like how scripture has deeper meanings. This song has a meaning of depth in understanding that awakening in Christ is a continual process and it happens through seeking God and saying that I truly want to lead me to something greater. I want you to lead me to more then this road I am on now, and that is how growth in us continues and blooms. That’s how we can never be afraid to take leaps and choose faith instead of fear because we simply seeking God and saying I want your frontiers. “I want you to lead me….”

Lead me to the end of myself,

Take me to the edge of something greater.

Lead me to the end of myself,

Take me to the edge of something greater.

Something greater.

Happy reading!! Happy listening!! Happy Thanksgiving!! Blessings!! Xoxo

(* denotes name change for privacy reasons)

Saviour King  — November 11, 2016

Saviour King 

Let now the weak say I have strength By the spirit of power that raised Christ from the dead
Let now the poor stand and confess 

That my portion is Him and I’m more than blessed 

Let now our hearts burn with a flame 

A fire consuming all for your Son’s holy name 

And with the heavens we declare 

You are our king 


Father God, show me on how to ask you clarifying questions, when I receive your promptings. Lead me to have deeper moments with you. Show me how to be still, and silent Lord. I come to you in wanting to lessen how many times I say I’m sorry, to anyone that I come across with. God just draw me closer to you. I come to you as you are silent with me God. Lead me through this silence. Teach me what I need to know God.

We love you Lord, we worship you 

You are our God, you alone are good 



I choose love God, the word fear keeps popping up, and I surrender all my fears to you but I am choosing love and want to leap to the unknown, I want the changes. I don’t want to remain mute. I want to speak up. and open up. So God I choose truth and you God. I say yes to what it is that you want me to do. Father God, I choose to trust you, and leap forward; and no longer look back. I say yes God, Amen. 

Is Regina Ann* truly not coming God? I pray for your truth in this. I pray for your response. I seek you God, because you have the answer. I seek you God, because I choose not to chose fear. I choose to trust you. You have Saturday God. 

Let now your church shine as the bride 

That you saw in your heart as you offered up your life 

Let now the lost be welcomed home 

By the saved and redeemed those adopted as your own 

Let now our hearts burn with a flame 

A fire consuming all for your Son’s holy name 

And with the heavens we declare 

You are our King 


Father God, I seek you to remove this deep level of fear that I have. I come to you seeking your truth. Show me how to be still in the midst of the chaos that surrounds me. Your silence has me wondering what am I doing wrong? Why can’t you talk to me? What can’t you tell me what’s up? But it’s a part of my pruning process. I don’t like silence, and I don’t like stillness. Your silence pushes me to stillness. 

I love you Lord, I worship you 

Hope which was lost, now stands renewed 

I give my life to honor this 

The love of Christ, the Savior King


Father God I need you so desperately, to clean out my heart and remove my fears. Nothing you do is enough for me. Why is it that I want more than this, and I’m not seeking you in regards to this? Instead I make my own decisions and choices. Father God, I need more. I want more than the exchanges that we had. Being here at the school isn’t enough for me, when it feels like the teachers that I’m supposedly suppose to work alongside with, I’m really just a bodyguard. I don’t want anything of this world. Lord, I do want you to search, and clean my heart. 

Let now our hearts burn with a flame 

A fire consuming all for your Son’s holy name 

And with the heavens we declare

You are our King


My heart is heavy God, so heavy. The level of frustration that I feel is ocean deep. How can I continue to work in this environment. I am being inflicted and affected by a lot. The things that I have seen done towards me, leads me to heart check if I have done them towards others or to myself. There’s a heaviness Lord in my heart. There’s a heaviness Lord in my heart. How do you want me to come to you at the altar with this? How can I give you this heaviness, because it’s beyond understanding and the emotions can not be explain. 

Lord how I need you to just touch my heart, and remove this and clean whatever it may be that is triggered by this. Lord I come to you with this heaviness. I am up right now at 1:54 am, because of these emotions that feel stuck in me. Lord, what needs to be done, what is it that I have deflected within myself? Father God, this is another level of needing your guidance, and presence. Of needing you to show me what you need for me to see. Lord, I come to you open, because whatever it is that I am being lead to surrender I say here I am father God. I’m open and say yes. I want you to reveal your truth to me. 

The way your curbing this apartment God is so real. It’s beyond frustrating. I needed to have that apartment happen. I needed to have a place and space, that was my own and I don’t get that God. For so long I had to deal with the frustrations of sharing a space, and my lack of speaking; or fear of not putting my foot down has now made me switch the mindset, that I need to get my own apartment in order to have the freedom that I need or wanted. 

Yesterday walking home with Regina Ann was real. When she went to the supermarket to get food for her family, you just made me had a heart check God. I didn’t want to hear what Regina Ann had to say. I don’t like that she calls me out. There’s a lot of things I don’t like. I don’t like that I battle validation in broken man still. I don’t like that I’m still struggling to please the broken people that I work with. I don’t like that I battle fighting to be a part of this pedigree rat race. This pedigree rat race that many people on the planet chases. No network or degree is bigger than God. I know this in my mind but my heart is having a hard time accepting this, because even though my savior is mighty, the world still choose secular values in music and in beliefs because it’s popular. I battle being caught up in that brokenness. I battle being mad at Regina Ann for calling me out on wanting to feed the popular choices of brokenness. When she was shopping, you were showing me how I need to wait on moving out. 

You God, have been pruning me to be biblically aligned to your truths. It’s not biblical for my ribcage to ask for my hand in marriage and I’m living on my own. The next house that I live in will be with my husband. And that’s not something I wanted to accept or see, because it’s more waiting. I’m tired of waiting. I’m tired of my gifts and blessings being delayed because that chapter of my life is tied to my ribcage. I’m tired of all of this painful season, that doesn’t include him being fully in my space yet. I’m just tired of how this all looks. I’m tired of the narrow path feeling so whack, being so painful. It’s time for good things to come for me. It’s time for this wilderness to end for me. When will I catch a break? When will I finally say oh all of this ridiculous pruning was worth all this hurt? When will the road less travel finally shine to others that are doing the secular and worldly dance? When will I finally believe choosing you God in full obedience is actually worth leaving the world behind? When will my battle of doubting this finally leave me? When will I finally believe, that sugar coating this walk is actually not the way to go? When God when? 

Saviour King by Hillsong Chapel is worship lullaby that expresses the weight of the world that Jesus carried for us. Jesus carried every emotion that I have being feeling lately, and took it to the cross to free us. So it only because of our Savior King that I still am made to love and carry on, when the weights that have been piled on me are wearing me down. How God says to give them to Him, to exchange for Jesus’ easy yolk, has them in exchange of his life for my freedom, because you choose to set me free God. Thank you. 

We love you Lord, we worship you

You are our God, you alone are good 

You asked your Son to carry this 

The heavy cross our weight of sin 

I love you Lord, I worship you 

Hope which was lost, now stands renewed

I give my life to honor this 

The love of Christ, the Savior King 

Happy reading!! Happy listening!! Blessings!! Xoxo
(* denotes name change for privacy reasons)

Worship Reveal  —

Worship Reveal 

I had a crazy dream recently, where at one point I was in the building of my job, with some of my colleagues. I was in front of them like in a line, and saw one of my supervisors, talking to a student on the benches by their office. Both the supervisor and the student, turned their head to see that I was in front of the line. Then it went to another scene where we were in some cafeteria, which was a large space room. Individuals from our old church were there. 

C* and I was in were in the same group, while Regina Ann* was singing with some people, in the front area of the room that we were all in. This real life couple was in the singing group with Regina Ann. The female of the couple sang, then the guy she was with followed, and then the ensemble that Regina Ann was with, started to join in as a choir behind all singing together. I was moved to tears. I didn’t have on my glasses, so things were slightly blurry besides my tears. Another girl we will call A* came over to me, when she saw the tears on my face, because the way the singing ensemble was so organic truly moved me.

I believed C was crying when she saw this real life couple, but I’m like God what are you saying to me about this real life couple? Are you trying to tell me that these two really belong together? So what about who he was with before, that girl hasn’t moved on the way this guy has with this new girlfriend. This true love stuff, and all that wrong couples that were around me at my old church; and how they were celebrated in their sin at my old church is too much. Love is too much to me now. I am so afraid of love because of how so much transpired. The wrongs are being seen as right, and being publicly supported by spiritual leaders, who are supposed to be true to the word of God first and foremost. The truth to God is being dismissed so heavily. There’s so much heaviness in my heart. I pick up so many burdens, at work. I picked up so many burdens, and hidden lies at my old church. I’m just tired of blind eyes turning. God we all need you so much. 

In the dream, A was really dressed up in holiday colors, and I was like I’ve never seen her this festive, and bold in wearing what she was. She’s also recently engaged in real life. Her soulmate makes her bold. I was walking around with this bag, but it was annoying as if it was bondages, that I was carrying around. Once Regina Ann and the group got up to sing, with the guy that’s a part of the real life couple, it’s like I knew to let the bag fall, and knew that I didn’t have to pick it back up ever again. That’s when A came over. A bondage that I have been walking around with, I became free from through the worship of God, was when A came. Regina Ann was smiling when she was singing. Worship is genuinely an occurrence that happens from the heart. Regina Ann was free, and happy when she was singing. This is what makes true worship part of the healing, and removing of bondages. 

When I prayed to God on this dream, God told me that this couple that’s together now, belong together. And that the other girl he was with was never for him. Things are moving for this guy and his new girlfriend at my old church, because God designed them to always be together. Regina Ann is called to sing, and she doesn’t want to believe she is. She doesn’t want to accept how big of a calling that is on her life. The more she tries to hide, the more she’s seen. God has her insane love story too. He’s working it out right before her eyes, no amount of denial or deflection can change this truth. I saw with my own eyes that God is working on my own love story. So I have no doubt God is working on hers. I have always been called to worship and praise. 

I love to sing but God has writing songs on my horizon when the time is right. I always turned to music when I saw how society ostracized me. Music has always made me feel free. There’s so much unhappiness around me, and there’s so many unhappy people near me. It’s hard for me to be God’s ambassador in this challenging season; because of all the brokenness and unhappiness that I see, pick up, and have to be around. I’m tired. I am tired of seeing the favoritism towards performing scholars that are high. And those scholars that are not performing well are being ignored. It hurts me, and I pick up this blatant disregard to the least of these. Biblically we are called to lift least of these. So, I’ll be their fighter and champion. I’ll be their bridge because God called me to be. God is my savior. God is with me. God will show me what to do, and how to move through this wilderness of brokenness at work. Nothing is bigger than God. 

Happy reading and God bless!!! (*denotes name change for privacy reasons.)

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