I’m afraid for him to touch me

I’m afraid

I can’t express it

Something popped with him

Like how he sees me

I don’t know something popped 

Something popped for him

Or for me and something I now see

I can’t 

I don’t want 

I’m a virgin

I can’t 

I want out

I can make it 

I can make it happen 

Send me the agencies

I’ll look

I don’t care 

I just want out

I don’t know what popped

Something popped 

Why is he still in this 

If being a virgin 

is a problem then fine

Go to someone else

He sniffed me 

because of my innocence 

I didn’t know you could smell love

He just wanted to smell me

because it was so sweet

I’ve been staring at my hands

and I see they’ve matured 

into grown woman hands

My hands match fingers 

of an adult 

My polish color 

the length 

It’s stupid but it’s an adult hand

I really wish I didn’t listen 

that night God told me 

to hold onto my virginity 

I wouldn’t be here 

because my parents would’ve kicked me out

I would’ve been determined to figured it out

I would’ve kept ignoring you God

Being a virgin makes me not see

They’ll be no Regina Ann*

They’ll be no him

They’ll be no brother

It’s a huge culture shock

My tastes and colors changed

I need to not look childish anymore

Having sex changes you

I really wish I didn’t wait

Here I am 

Whatever I don’t care

Regina Ann* doesn’t have my problems 

He doesn’t have my problems 

I’m 29 with childish outcomes 

I don’t care what he wants

He’s never going to find me again 

God it’s a lie

to protect my virginity 

Nobody wanted to hear from the virgin 

The virgin always gets it worse 

I just wanted to be loved

Being a virgin is a curse 

(*denotes name change for privacy reasons) 

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