It's so hard to trust you right now

I feel like you let me down God 

I feel like you continuously just disturbed me

Why do I have to be open to a man that doesn't have my problems 

That man will always have an opening 

But Wynee had to fend 

I want more than where I'm at 

I hate this season 

It's always by October when my life picks up

It's April and you're telling me to be still?

I can't do that 

I can't do that

You just blocked my plan

You had me working at a place 

Getting paid less than sustainable wage

You put it in her heart to pay me that 

And you're telling me not to save?

Talking about its flesh 

Talking about my heart needs cleaning 

Where's my heart when I'm not working?

Where's my heart when you made me buy things that I didn't need. 

One hundred and sixty four dollars spent on items I don't need 

I could've put it in a CD

I could've gotten stocks 

I don't need the crap you made me buy 

I need more than where I was

I need more than where I am

I need more than 

A bible that I can barely comprehend

A bible that I put colors in

And you're telling me that man sees my creativity, what does that do for me?

Regina Ann* always covers him 

He needs to cover himself 

Got chicks showing off empire-type roof tops

I wish I could work there 

I can finally have insurance 

I have to fix my ears 

I have to fix my teeth

I have to fix my sight

That's what bothers me

These chicks are selfish 

They don't want anyone to be ahead, that's what bothers me

That's why I'm competing 

For all the girls that struggle 

Just to get a break 

And not to depend on a man 

I just wanted to make sure I didn't come to him with nothing 

As a black woman education is so important 

Where you go to school does matter

And God you blocked me from knowing out of state colleges 

You babel me from knowing this

People told me good luck finding a job 

That's why it feels like I settled to that sales job 

You used everything for your glory

That's where I met Regina Ann

It took me forever to get promoted 

My promotion was half way shady

that's why I fight for integrity 

I'm tired of shady 

I don't want anyone to come for me 

I'm not lazy 

Being at home triggers my PTSD

I feel worthless here 

I don't like being here 

Having a job no matter what it is, is better than nothing 

At least I'll have a dollar 

Something is better than nothing 

One hundred and sixty four dollars 

wasted, on a bible I don't need 

That's how I feel

I'll never get that money back 

Whatever I'm just over all of this 

(* denotes that name changes are for privacy reasons)

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