Wyn's Playlist

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Shortcuts  — May 5, 2017

Shortcuts 

5/3/17

Father God, I come to you with thanksgiving on what this moment, and time of stillness that I am in. I come to you with gratitude and love for what you are doing in me. Father God, last night as I walked through a realization that lead to the surrendering of being controlling, possessive, and exhibiting the ways identical to my mother. Father God as you continue to use this moment of stillness to open my eyes, I thank you Abba for loving me so much that you no longer are wanting me to take my broken inhaled ways to the new blessings that you are blooming my way. 

Father God, as I continue to choose stillness and losing control you’ve open my eyes. God you opened my ears to see, and hear some harsh truths that are within me. I see the spotty mold that I was carrying around and feeding. I no longer want to control anything, because it does not allow for me to be open to full surrender, which gives you the full openness and access to work in us. I must give you room to fill me up, renewing, restoring, and rebuilding me. It is openness to your biblical and Godly foundations. It is openness to your ways, and walking in your infinite wisdom and grace that you Father God have for my life. It is in the openness I can release the broken ways and mindsets that I’ve carried for so long. 

Release the clinging of my father, mother and the release of needing their approval and love. The release of letting them all go, and trusting you with how you are moving me on from them. Trust in your full fledge faith walking through the mental attacks that I’ve created short cuts on how to avoid them, which was what created the shortcuts that I’ve tried to master but failed. Father God, how I’ve tried it with the broken roots and foundations in short cuts that I have mistakenly thought I could have taken with me on this walk with you. 

You’ve cut out on that weeds every single time, then last night and earlier this morning you’ve pluck out the stubs. I’ve enable a broken ideology for so long that it has created the floodgates for other wrong and broken methods for myself. These shortcuts will always cause more problems than good. I see you are truly doing the work in me, as I fight to remain obedient in this stillness that you have for me. There needs to be stillness in the Godly cooperation of allowing you to move and make a way out of things. To make a way with all avenues. 

As I am drawing closer to you Abba, and sense the presence of your spirit amongst me, I must make that active fight to remain in the spirit, and to choose the spirit over my flesh. I must fight to make the active choice on no longer settling for shortcuts or disengagement through indifference. I made the attacks bigger than you, and the shortcuts were a scapegoat that lead to giving the enemy more power and control. I lay down and surrender my shortcut ways Abba, because you are bigger, hence in how you have stilled me to move me in your ways and path. I come to you laying down the spirit of looking back to believing that I have to aim at proving a point towards those that I had struggle to bond with. 

Father God I am continuingly seeking you, and not needing to prove anything to anyone or prove that I am not where I used to be. You have showed me that I already have the victory because the victory is in you Jesus. I thank you for how you walk with me to see truths, open eyes, and I surrender it all so that I can no longer remain the same. Father God I thank you for I am no longer seeking affection from others when I have full affection and adoration from you. I thank you that I am no longer under the wrong and broken molding of my mother or my family. I thank you father God for freeing me from whatever trap I was going to fall into. Thank you for changing me. I thank you for the dark storms, and the joys in the morning (Psalm 30:5). I thank you for it all Abba, in stillness I remain until you move me in Jesus name, Amen. 

“The LORD shall fight for you, and ye shall hold your peace.” Exodus 14:14 KJV

Comments  — April 15, 2017

Comments 

April 12, 2017

Sensitivity to your voice along with aggressiveness habits conflict with each other father God. They also are affecting my relationship with you. I pray that I can truly learn from this moment, and just be more sensitive to your spirit. I pray that it’s starting to hurt enough. I’m afraid to get excited about stuff, because I usually find out later that I wasn’t spot on, or I was not truly following along or being sensitive to what you were wanting to communicate to me. 

I truly am just trying to understand what you’re telling me God, and I get so aggressive with it, because I am finally going to be spot on with what God is telling me, and then here comes the very moment where I’m finding out that I was off. I become so easily and quickly hurt, and discouraged because I am like God, why is this my struggle? What am I doing to create this mess? I then quickly go back to the commentary that was made “God is not a God of confusion,” from pursuit 93 that disappeared suddenly. That was an accurate comment from her attempt to attack me. Her “sweetie” comment truly bothered me, and I wanted to reply to her. But that would have lead to a back and forth. Me not engaging in the reply doesn’t remove the sting, or make me not think that this person has some valid points. 

I’m so aggressive in wanting to hear accurately from you and instead I’m falling apart. Father God, I am truly struggling. I run to spend alone time with you to hear your voice and mediate on the word. But I am struggling. I truly need your covering as you show me, and just reveal to me my mistakes. I am tired of correction because I am tired of my imperfections coming out like a misinformed disgrace, instead I want the praise. I am tired of how my aggression leads to nothing of any progressive momentum. Father God, I lost today, will there ever be any wins? I clutch to my chest when I get one thing right, and I know it was all you. It’s real for me as you can see God the wanting to be more open and unguarded with correction and discipline. I am willing to leap to the unknowns that can shape me, and show me the discipline that I need to be sensitive to your spirit and authority. 

It’s funny how this morning there was a conversation with Regina Ann* about “cultural perfectionism”. Growing up with the biological inheritance of perfectionism that must occur even with the very relationship that I have with God. It was the “I must be on point with everything, especially all things that are coming from God”. When the person commented the way that she did, it seemed that it made me think God why am I not getting this area perfect? I don’t understand why this is a persistent battle in our relationship God? I’m so through with this battle, and how it’s starting to feel. 

God it’s truly challenging to remain faithful, when moments occurring of attacks appear out of nowhere as they do, but as I push to trust and come to you even with this bothersome that I’m feeling, I pray for the growth mindset to understand that this walk is a journey that truly has a resolve with every stride. This walk has to keep the focus mainly on you, not my left or right. My walk is uniquely intricate to the ripples of your fingerprints, and touches in every detail. Even with the commentary reply that was made, it had your touches to be used to strengthen, grow me, and draw me closer to you. 

Father God, as I am constantly pushing myself to grow with you in my writing, I pray for the continuing growth in being vulnerable in my writing/journaling with you, in this new season of my life. I pray that my aggressiveness to hear you more and without doubt comes with love, because you do call us to have a relentless pursuit to you. Father God, I thank you for the commenter, and I pray for her heart as she also learns that you are God and you are working on her individually designed for her walk with you, as you are doing so with all of your chosen and called. 

Father God, as I continue to grow in you, I pray for the confidence to trust you more than what my eyes feel like they need to see, or what I feel I should personally be doing. I pray for the continuous peace that comes with being obedient to you, despite what others don’t believe to be true. No matter what you will always catch me, and I choose to trust what brings continuous freedom in you then any other ways. I love you Father, Amen.

Stillness  — March 29, 2017

Stillness 

Father God,

It's been real these last few weeks to days leading up to end of March. Father God how stillness is just a wrestle for me, when I'm so used to finding like so many things to do to keep myself busy, and push for productivity. But trusting you God in the midst of this season, where things have gone in a whole other direction is truly an example of how you are in control of everything Dad. 

We truly have to walk in blind faith when it comes to this walk, and journey with you. Father God as I wait, because you are truly telling me to be still and wait on you. I make failed attempts towards gauging on what could it possible be that you are telling me to do next. Father God, as I journal down my thoughts, I pray that I am truly dwelling in your presence, and open to everything that you have for me, and want to offer me. I pray that you are just filling me up, but also father God I'm wanting to be overflowed with your love and peace. 

Change is something that I am giving less resistance to, but there's still an evolution in me that needs to happen daily as I grow to desire your ways to choose over my own understandings. Father God, I pray that I am open to the truths about myself. Stillness father God I am learning is hard to do, when there is no outdoor patio to watch the sunset, while waiting on Jesus to give you the message that you need to hear. 

Father God, it's real being where I am for the past several days, the renewal of my mind is happening rapidly as I am shedding and growing new skin. It's all because of you God. I thank you for all that you have done, and continue to do each day for as long as I still have breath in my lungs. Father God, as I wake up everyday in this household that I am currently in, I clearly see the traits and manners that I have clung to, due to habits and cultural identity and transferred mannerisms from my parents. 

Father God, how real is it when you see that the patterns of what your parents are doing, are what you do, and realizing that you cannot take them to the next glory. Thank you God that you love me so much, that you are doing the work in me, preparing me for where you are taking Regina Ann* and I next. Pruning us to be unashamed about doing the foolishness of God. 

Father God, it's been real seeing in me how much was still not being surrendered over to you, and doing a heart check on what is truly in the deep pit of my heart and soul. Seeing what is ungodly, and to hand it over to you in exchange for your sovereignty over my life, by trusting you with everything that you are leading me to do. Abba, thank you for the growing accountability in taking a leap, but also in expressing gratitude. 

Thank you father for the small victories, that have lead to greater ones throughout my journey on this walk with you God. I could not have done this alone by myself, no way. It's truly all of you and only you God, walking with me and just chiseling me bit by bit. Father God, as I come to you continuously laying it all down, and wanting your peace instead of my fleshly thinking of what peace can be. As I read last night in scripture in Psalm 37:37, "a future awaits those who seek peace…" 

True peace comes from you God, yes we can light that candle to give the room some ambiance or worship music to set the room; however, those are accessories that God doesn't need in order to connect with you. There is the yearning of stillness, that God has directed for you have with him. Father God, as I grow in this walk with you as a Christian, I truly am wanting you to hold me accountable with the stillness that you are calling me to have with you. You truly are strengthening me, and stretching me in this area. I am in stillness more than the day before. Father God, I thank you for constantly showing me intimacy and grace, towards the growing relationship that I have with you. Abba, your love never fails, and it never gives up on me…..in Jesus name, Amen.

(*denotes name change for privacy reasons)

Thank You God — March 28, 2017

Thank You God

Father God, 

I am just perplexed that I’m in this temporary but unknowing season of employment with Regina Ann*. I don’t know how to come to you, when I just am seeking you for reassurance God that everything is going to be okay. Father God, as I write out to you how I feel, the memories and recalling of last night’s sermon replays in my head; to give gratitude and thanks in midst of the “through it” that I am in. I am in the middle of something I can sense it and feel it. 

As I humble myself to realize how good you are to me God, that you are still right here with me, as I take leaps into the deeper unknown, and fully trust you with all my heart. I don’t know what the response back will be, and if I do then I find it hard to believe, but I choose to thank you for wanting so much more for me. I choose to thank you, that you pulled me out of that place when I was settling for less than greater for myself, because I was getting a paid education. 

Thank you for loving me so much, that you do not what me to settle in the love story you have for me, when I’m thinking that settling was the only way to receive “real love”. Father God I do not know, or I’m not fully aware of your plans for me, and if I am then I pray that you please make them so clear that there’s no confusion, or misinterpretation on what you are saying are the next steps. Father God, continue to just walk me through these waves of emotions, that are inflicted by my insecurities. 

I need you God as I truly try to push myself to not freak out, or panic about whatever these next moves may be. Father God I need you on how to move next. I need you with my prosperity, and future days ahead. I need you in increasing my trust and security in you. Father God, everyday you are stripping me and challenging my thinking about my “secure plan,” and what is the best option for me. As I push to not settle, and no longer seek a job that is a paycheck, but be prepared to what I’m called to do. As I trust you with my goals and plans. The leaps that I have been taking has me feeling that maybe nothing is possible, or what am I not doing enough? Am I really resting or just being lazy? 

God I’m having such a hard time with things. I am saying yes to the next doors. As I write out my frustrations, I realize to conclude this with praises and thanks. Father God thank you that I am not where I used to be. Many years ago I would be desperate, and settled for something as long as it could cover my bills being paid, but I am now in a space where I choose to trust you, despite how things may seem, despite what is the opposite of the norm. 

Thank you God for pulling me out from a space where I was unhappy, and just drowning every day. Thank you God for loving me through my fears and resistance. Thank you God for how I have the peace of God that surpasses all understanding. Thank you God that I am no longer bound to any chains that would be used to condemn me. Thank you God that I am still standing despite the many who tried to offer me the world. Thank you God I am still standing despite the many that tried to knock me down. I am only here today because of you God. 

On 4/4/14 you saved me. You walked me down that church aisle to the front of the altar, and I lay down my life. I said yes to walking in faith, and wanting to have a relationship with Jesus Christ. Father God thank you for breath. Thank you for everything. Thank you God as you hold what lays ahead for me. Father God I thank you that a relationship with you is forever evolving. Thank you God for all the unspoken things, that I have not mention or can’t recall. Thank you Abba, I love you. Amen.

(*denotes name change for privacy reasons)

Birming…..him — March 19, 2017

Birming…..him

We get attacks through changes and breakthroughs 

We get attacks through the dismantling of gauging how things are appearing in our eyes 

We get attacked just because we chose to be obedient 

We get attacked just because we choose to let go of what we use to do

Changes create a segue to leap into things that just might scare you, but also prepares you for greater truth

Reach beyond what you think you can teach

Seek beyond what you think you can meet in Him only 

God can only change you, not even you yourself or your idols 

Not your dreams coming true can manage you 

God has to salvage before you can be made new

The Maker is the King of what is truly dreams come true 

Let’s make history he tells me, 

I can’t do it if I’m not suppose to, 

it has to be His will above you

Do you hear me? 

I said I choose God above you 

That means I’m here to sharpen you in choosing truth, 

not to lose

Fear more than consumes you, 

it gives you things to breed that leads to you losing what’s good and truth

Trust me, that’s only in God to do the seeking in

He’s ready, he chooses truth and you 

Choose To Be — February 11, 2017

Choose To Be

Brother choose to be undone 

Brother chooses to be 

a partner in this race

She stole his heart

Brother didn’t know he wanted a heart

Brother chooses short cuts

Brother knew marrying her 

would bring misery

Brother didn’t want to love hard 

because she stole his heart 

Brother chooses his flesh

Now the time has come 

for no more short runs

Brother realized he made a mistake 

By choosing his ways

Seeing the undone his way

Choosing this pace 

Choosing this race

Brother choose his way 

instead of His Way

Brother knows what he’s done 

Brother knows he’s undone 

Brother stands and waits

For what the Lord has to say

Redeem his son

Choice undone 

Brother knows what he’s done was wrong 

Once he’s reflecting and rejecting 

The more I am accountable 

The more I choose to feel to be free

That’s why they’re awkward 

The more he chooses to see

Brother and I are connected in a deep way

Brother and I will be set free

Ribcage sees Brother is free 

Brother doesn’t want to choose truth 

But he has to

I would rather walk through fears

then be paralyzed anymore years

Brother can’t be pregnant by her

It’s not his calling or his ministry

A baby won’t change his brokenness

Brother can’t be a father 

And remain in the lies

Brother has to change his sheets

Brother’s bed

They smell to each other 

Brother has to change the weep

Brother has to change 

who he serves

Brother has to change 

the master he observes 

Brother has to change 

the master he curves: God 

Brother has to be the beauty 

that is reflected in He 

Brother has to see sound cries 

are not soft lies 

Their souls cries to be free

Brother knows he’s free 

but does he want to be….

Free

In Sync — January 20, 2017

In Sync

We’re not in sync 

He’s not in this 

He’s not welcome here 

I’m tired of the same ruse, the same abuse

I choose truth not you

The lies that have been recorded and audited will never be gleam. 

I’m done with this stuff with rhyming and gliding, trying to find the words to mix clean

I don’t want this nor him

He doesn’t want this is what I perceive because of how He is treating me. 

I think I’m a calling of avoiding what’s meant to be 

I’m the one that’s hoarding things all in

I don’t want his sex, his bliss, I just want His truth to be free from all of this

I just want his kiss to be real

I just want his touch to be sincere 

I don’t doubt his love, I choose to feed fear which corrupts his love 

Can’t stand fear, it’s no where near and that’s real 

That’s an inconsistency in our communication God

I come to you wanting to know how to press on

Wanting to know how to get far, but you don’t answer me though

You tell me to hold on 

You tell me to let go, so I let go

What else is the lie 

He’s not free, he stays wealthy in a world full of lies 

He picks freedom because he knows it involves you 

He doesn’t talk to me about his love, so I have to go search for it elsewhere 

I have to go look for it somewhere 

Since I’m not good enough or cute enough to be the one he needs near
For a while now I was seeking, no amount of makeup could keep secret nor peeking the details of dreams railed. 
I choose to let go and seek soul not the world or what I know

I exchange regurgitated for greatness

Exchange repeats for newness

Exchange anger for joy 

Seek peace upon all 

Seek First  — January 16, 2017

Seek First 

Peace that passes, my understanding 
Love that conquers, my fear and regret 

Joy unending, eternal mleasure

In your presence, my risen King

1/9/17

God am I negative? Then show me how to be in love. Show me how to surrender this flesh fire that I have within my heart. Show me how to not have my negativity spill on to others. I don’t want this life anymore that involves me being negative. I’m tired of hurting Regina Ann*, and hearing that I’m not there for her. Show me how to be better. I surrender my negative spirit. What are the wrong things that I’m feeding God? Show me so that you can hold me accountable to not do them? God I need you. Where are you when I am dealing with this high amounts of negativity that spews on others? Show me how to let go of it. Show me how to just let go of it all. I don’t want to be negative anymore. I don’t want to remain broken anymore. 

Show me how to be healthy. Show me how Lord. I need you Lord. I just need you to remove the negativity in my life. In my heart. In my mind. In my touch. Let my touches be tender and soft, not harsh and hard. Let my love be sweet and sincere, not hard and bitter. Father God, show me how to truly be there and how to truly love. I don’t know how to do it. I’ve tried it my way and now I can no longer do this my way. Lord show me how to love your way. Show me how to just be a pure lighter of love to others. Show me how Lord. I can’t continue on with the way that I have been moving. I no longer know how to continue on with the way that I have, but Lord you know what is good and of you, so I seek you be that. One who brings and bears good fruit. 

And I will seek first, your kingdom

I will seek first, your righteousness

And everything I need, you will provide for me 

My heart is to seek first, your kingdom 

Oh oh oh oh oh, oh oh oh oh oh 

Oh oh oh oh oh, oh oh oh oh oh 

I repent for who I was to Regina Ann. I wasn’t there for here or positive. God you have her. I wish that we can start over, and go back to when we first got saved. That I surrendered all of this and gave you all of me; instead I’ve held on to brokenness that has literally destroyed my relationships with others. I hate that I’m funny. I don’t get why that has to be my gift. It makes me feel like I’m a comedian who will set themselves on fire or secretly battles depression. I’m unhappy with this season in my life God. I’m unhappy with everything. And it’s hard. It’s very hard to get up every day and praise you. 

Why do I compete with my sisters God instead of uplifting them? Why do I not have healthy relationships? I wasn’t trying. I wasn’t even budging. I don’t need to be crying, because it’s all my fault. Here I am in this classroom corner, and just wanting you to take me to space or somewhere far away.

 Peace that passes, my understanding

Love that conquers, my fear and regret 

Joy unending, eternal mleasure

In your presence, my risen King

1/11/17

Father God, the #lesstruggle is so real. I just truly am done with where I am right now. Every time I try to make moves or proceed forward, I get block God so badly. I truly am just done with this season. I just want some milestones happening where I’m not being blocked for every corner that I’m turning. I’m over these delays.

1/15/16

What is this feeling that is in my heart God? 

Please tell me as I walk with you, and choose not to feed my brokenness in flesh. I choose to believe that you love me unconditionally; when for so long I truly believed that you never did. I thought that I had to seek the likes on social media, and validation amongst people so that I could be loved and treated right. I had to beg for someone to see that I’m good enough to be with. 

And I will seek first, your kingdom

I will seek first, your righteousness

And everything I need, you will provide for me 

My heart is to seek first, your kingdom 

Oh oh oh oh oh, oh oh oh oh oh 

Oh oh oh oh oh, oh oh oh oh oh 

God, I brokenly believe that me being bullied was because I deserved it. I didn’t know my worth or I was pretty enough. I didn’t think I was popular enough or knew what’s in right now in the world. Father God, I was mad at you for getting saved on 4/4/14, because I was like I’m not done proving myself to the world. I believed that I had to prove myself to be seen that I’m important, creative, and beautiful. That I deserved to be loved. The place that I got saved in from jump never loved me truly or welcomed me. The first year at my job, I wasn’t truly loved or welcomed. I had feelings of being ostracized every day for so long. I’ve had these feelings most of my life. 

Today’s sermon at church truly broke the chain and bondage that I had towards validation in man. I truly choose to let go God, and just let you take over and see your truth above my own brokenness. I am loved by you. I always was, and forever will be loved by you. You father God never strayed from loving me, when there were moments that I strayed from loving and choosing you. 

You’re all I really want, you’re all I really need 

Father every breath I’ve got you have given it to me 

Oh you’re all I really want, you’re all I really need 

Father every breath I’ve got you have given it to me 

Father God, as you show me that the reasons for my journey and trails were to lead me back to you, I began to see that you love me so much. God you knew that I was going to choose you whenever or whatever I was going through or feeling. I choose to actively fight to believe that you love me, and that you’ve confirmed me already. 

I hold on to your truths and not my own. Where I am, moving on from here is only forward because I choose to let go. Show me God what to do. Show me God, how to love you and your people. How I need you God, and how your silence was never abandonment but your working for the blessings to come whenever I overcome this mess. You were always working on my behalf even when I was angry at you, you never stopped working, because you’re a good good father. 

You’re all I really want, you’re all I really need 

Father every breath I’ve got you have given it to me 

You’re all I really want, you’re all I really need 

Father every breath I’ve got you have given it to me 

Thank you God, for my new found freedom. What 4/4/14 did was began the entry to healing, removing myself from whatever stake I tried to place in the world. God you used how I saw the church to give up my weapons, in what I considered to bring freedom and choose him, and I’ve been going through the metamorphosis of a renewed mind; with new eyes and new gills to breath through. Beyond borders leads to overcoming fear, so I choose you God to overcome my ways, and choose you like Genesis 12. I allow you to lead me as I leave, receive and believe in your love.

Seek First by HouseFires is off of their HouseFires III album. Seek First represents a needed reminder of how much I need to seek God always. I’m in a very frustrated season of stillness and waiting. There’s a lot that God has shown me and I have to wait for certain matters to fall into place and most days I’m over waiting after everything that I’ve been through. I know how to do a lot but God is deliberately slowing me down and it’s very frustrating. But that grace and mercy of God is what grounds me and reminds me of how much I love God, which outweighs how much I want to make moves. 

And I will seek first, your kingdom

I will seek first, your righteousness

And everything I need, you will provide for me 

My heart is to seek first, your kingdom 

Oh oh oh oh oh, oh oh oh oh oh 

Oh oh oh oh oh, oh oh oh oh oh 

Oh oh oh oh oh, oh oh oh oh oh 

Oh oh oh oh oh, oh oh oh oh oh 

Oh you’re all I really want, you’re all I really need 

Father every breath I’ve got you have given it to me 

Oh you’re all I really want, you’re all I really need 

Father every breath I’ve got you have given it to me 

You have given it to me

You have given it to me 

Happy reading and God bless!!! 

(* denotes name change for privacy reasons) 

Wasted  — January 7, 2017

Wasted 

I’m a wasted time

A wasted space

Is how I feel

I’m a wasted flaw

A wasted child

A wasted joke

I’m unreal

Not in love

Not for sure

Not enough

Don’t want no more

They don’t know 

What to say

They can’t relate 

Because they’re not in my space or race 

Hurt for hurt

Pain for pain

He’s not real is what I want to say

No one understands alignment to me Dad,

Because I lack it and I’m always sad

You’re not there

You’re not fair 

You’re not just with me and my trust

No one understands how I feel when I lie my bed

How I feel a worth of hurt from others who dance with the world and hurts

God you’re a deliverer but chooses the worse to remove from the weeds within us 

River — January 1, 2017

River

Been traveling down these wide roads for so long 

My heart’s been far from you 

Ten-thousand miles gone 

12/31/16

People are starting to come. 

The streets are getting crowded, 

victory is where Brother* started 

back to play one, 

victory is won 

where Brother is His Son

Oh, I wanna come near and give ya 

Every part of me 

But there is blood on my hands 

And my lips aren’t clean

God I come to you seeking you on why I feed fear? It’s what I know. It’s a comfort. It’s something that I can count on to look forward to, but I choose you to seek truth, and I choose you to trust in the unknown. I come to you and let fear go. 

In my darkness I remember 

Momma’s words reoccur to me 

“Surrender to the good Lord and he’ll wipe your slate clean”

Ribcage is not real, but you are; 

God first above all

Brother is not real, but you are; 

God first above all

Regina Ann* is not here/real; but you are 

I choose love for all of the above.  

God first above all. 

God I seek you. 

Ribcage loves love. 

God first above all

Brother loves love. 

God first above all

Regina Ann* loves love. 

God first above all 

Take me to your river 

I wanna go 

Oh, go on 

Take me to your river 

I wanna know 

God I seek you to come face to face with my fears, that have been paralyzingly me since first coming into your kingdom as an adopted daughter. Father God, I surrender whatever emotions of denial and shame, that I have towards you and loose love. Because you love me enough to not ring in the new year, with this still in my heart. Father God, I am embracing the changes that will come and seek to trust you. I come to you to deepen and grow my trust in you. I say yes God. I take a stand to say yes always starting today. I let go and choose your love above my own regards. In your arms I remain strong. In Jesus name, Amen. 

Tip me in your smooth waters 

I go in

As a man with many crimes 

Comes up for air 

As my sins flow down the Jordan 

I surrender my control God. The clocks in my head will never be more timely than yours. So I come to you to remove this mindset that I have placed in our space. That my time is your time because it’s not. Your time is on time, and I choose to be obedient and follow your time. 

Oh, I wanna come near and give ya

Every part of me 

But there is blood on my hands 

And my lips aren’t clean 

1/1/17

It’s the first day of 2017 Lord, and I’m just coming to you grateful for all things. I pray that in this new year, you continue to push me to higher, and to be bolder. To continue to grow me as the woman, that you are calling me to be, and to be an empowering and uplifting daughter for others. Father God, I pray that you continue to push me past the boundaries, that I’ve placed and set for myself and you. To have no frontiers, and to not think that I’m limited to what I can do. To not give up during setbacks, but to push through even when it’s hard to do. Father God, I come to you trusting you even more and just growing closer to you and more adorned at the feet of your throne.

Take me to your river 

I wanna go

Go on,

Take me to your river

I wanna know 

Lord, I lay down my plans and agenda for the new year and going forward. Lord, you are my one true planner, and I hand over my physical planner for you. It is you that is meant to fill in the dates and events and my life testimonies to come. Jesus, I come to you seeking to be so sensitive to who you are, and wanting only your will to be done. I come to you open to what is to come. Thank you Lord. Amen.

River by Leon Bridges is that cross between gospel and blues with the timely input of the tambourine. This song brings peace, seeks hope, but reminds us that surrender needs to take place before we can proceed with anything. 

I wanna go, wanna go wanna go 

I wanna know, wanna know, wanna know

Wanna go, wanna go, wanna go

Wanna know, wanna know, wanna know

Wanna go, wanna go, wanna go

Wanna know, wanna know, wanna know 

Take me to your river

I wanna go 

Lord, please let me know 

Take me to your river

I wanna know  

Happy New Year!! Blessings for 2017!! Happy reading! Happy listening!

(* denotes name change for privacy) 

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