Wyn's Playlist

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Shelter — April 25, 2017

Shelter

4/17/17

God please move her. Please move Regina Ann* out of this. Father God, what can I do or say? Father God, please move her and pull her out. I am trying to hear from you Lord and just wanting to know what to do for her or how can I assist? God what job are we suppose to get? I keep receiving TriBeCa but how true is it? Is that something that I’m projecting, if it is then I surrender it. I surrender all things. Father God, I just want to know what to do next. Father God please move my sister. Please move her out and pull her out. I keep receiving that she is not going with them, now I’m getting she is. God I just want your truths about all things. Father God. What am I to do? What am I to say? I’m offering my heart and my life, just please pull Regina Ann out, please God. I have some layer of peace and I don’t know why? But I choose to trust and cling to it.

 
God when I ask you about going to a shelter, you said she’s not, now I’m getting she is? Which one is it? What is the true? What is even true about all of this. And then hearing about those dudes. I don’t care if they are real or not. Please free my sister God. Please move her. Please pull her out and just move her. Please God. Please God. I don’t know what else to say. If you want me to stop thinking about that man or even anything else then I lay it down. I lay Regina Ann down, I lay the other man down but just pull her out of this God. Please pull her out. I even lay myself down God, please pull her out. 

Lord I lay down all the selfish ambitions that I may have. I just choose to trust you. Show me how to no longer live in fear. Show me how to no longer just walk through the fear that my father and mother have played on me. Father God show me how to leave it all behind. I am trusting you and leaping and truly leaving it all behind. Father God, I say yes to you and I submit to your ways. I understand that I have severe control issues that I choose to let go of, because it is just hindering me and blocking me from truly hearing from you. Father God, I pray that you see this prayer as I declare to no longer cling to what I know. To no longer trust that money is the answer because it’s not. To no longer trust that living with my parents is the answer because it is not. Father God, I come to you in trusting you on what is next. Father God, you lead me and I will follow. I just say yes God, no matter what happens, I just say yes. I trust you. Amen 

I can’t do anything for her. I can’t be there. My hero complex is dismantled. There’s no saving a life for me when God hasn’t set me up to do so. I can’t save her. The god complex that I was carrying is dying through Regina Ann walking through what she is. Does it hurt enough for me God? Because I’m still crippled by fear. I’m still giving the enemy access, and full range to hinder me the way that I’m allowing him to with my fears. 

I gave advice that was said in fear and panic, “stash your phone inside of you”. God my fear is related to not having trust in you. I’m even fearful of my parents still, and how to still be there for Regina Ann. I’m like a little girl around them trying to hide my business and keep secrets. I’m so tormented because I’m feeding the wrong things. I need to choose freedom. I pray that I am. I understand that my fear for my parents causes me to remain childlike, and not be able to be present or mature in difficult situations. The thinking of “what will my parents say?” is what grips me so well God. I need you. I don’t know what else to say or do. Because being this fearful hinders me from being able to lead in any capacity, but also how am I suppose to be there for that man? I can’t be. I’m not there. And that’s the cold hearted reality. Father God, only you know when it will hurt enough for me to let go of this fear, that I’ve danced with for so long. The song has stopped, but I’m still on the dance floor. It’s just wrong and God I pray it stops. 

At 1:45 am, God you have my sister as we said goodnight.  

4/18/17

Waking up realizing that I’ve been living in my own homeless shelter. I’ve been living with parents who are clocking the next time that I ‘make it big’ to help them. The set up is communal when still enough to notice, and see how my parents gave up on the upkeep of their house years ago. Now it’s just about what do I do next God? What now for real?

I’ve been abused since a toddler. My mother recalls always how I was burned and afflicted by a babysitter. She always tells the story, but for some reason today that same story did something to my heart. That same story I surrender and give to you, and I pray for my mother to have peace with those early childhood moments in my life. I pray for my peace as well God. I pray to no longer carry those burdens around. The fear may have started since then, and full fledge manifested until now but I have to leave those instances in the past. 

4/19/17

A lot has happened in over a month God. A lot continues to develop. It’s 3am and I’m just walking through this time praising you, and choosing love and leaping into your arms with the unknown. Father God, the way that fear grips and controls us is like a vomit skin that is being worn around, and if one were to take a step back and observe oneself. I’ve seen it for myself. I was wearing that vomit rug or skin. Thank you God for pulling it off me. Thank you God for showing me that your love is truth. Thank you God. You saved me, and then sings my soul. 

No longer am I looking at the choices to my left or right or in my head, but I need you Father. I need you voice. 

4/21/17

Father God, I let go of all the broken and toxic upbringing of my parents. I can’t carry their broken burdens any longer. Father God, i let them all go, even my sister. Father God I come to you just wanting you to move me from my current temp address. This house is not a home, its truly is Haitian shelter. I can’t be here any longer God. Please remove me and Regina Ann out from our current spaces. 

4/22/17

The mind games that I play have resumed themselves. I’ve taken pleasure in the dysfunction and chaos between Regina Ann and I because I believe that it’s healthy. It’s healthy to have the constant up and down because then there’s love. If there’s this constant mess then I will see God clean It up my way-meaning I control the outcome. The truth is I wasn’t interested in being better or healthier, I was more focused on the vomit and clinging to what I know. Because through what I know I can see the outcome, there’s no leap or free falling. But then again, Abba, I’m here in the space of it hurting enough. It hurts enough to say that I can no longer be this way. It hurts enough to choose you over my weeds and brokenness of comfort. You began to open up my eyes to see that there is more, when I truly let go of the door that you’re closing to open the new one with more that ever before. I push to be more sensitive to the spirit than ever before. I have to seek you, and when I do my eyes see your truth. I can’t go back to before, it hurts enough to want healthy and godly above all.

*denote name change for privacy purposes. 

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Thank You God — March 28, 2017

Thank You God

Father God, 

I am just perplexed that I’m in this temporary but unknowing season of employment with Regina Ann*. I don’t know how to come to you, when I just am seeking you for reassurance God that everything is going to be okay. Father God, as I write out to you how I feel, the memories and recalling of last night’s sermon replays in my head; to give gratitude and thanks in midst of the “through it” that I am in. I am in the middle of something I can sense it and feel it. 

As I humble myself to realize how good you are to me God, that you are still right here with me, as I take leaps into the deeper unknown, and fully trust you with all my heart. I don’t know what the response back will be, and if I do then I find it hard to believe, but I choose to thank you for wanting so much more for me. I choose to thank you, that you pulled me out of that place when I was settling for less than greater for myself, because I was getting a paid education. 

Thank you for loving me so much, that you do not what me to settle in the love story you have for me, when I’m thinking that settling was the only way to receive “real love”. Father God I do not know, or I’m not fully aware of your plans for me, and if I am then I pray that you please make them so clear that there’s no confusion, or misinterpretation on what you are saying are the next steps. Father God, continue to just walk me through these waves of emotions, that are inflicted by my insecurities. 

I need you God as I truly try to push myself to not freak out, or panic about whatever these next moves may be. Father God I need you on how to move next. I need you with my prosperity, and future days ahead. I need you in increasing my trust and security in you. Father God, everyday you are stripping me and challenging my thinking about my “secure plan,” and what is the best option for me. As I push to not settle, and no longer seek a job that is a paycheck, but be prepared to what I’m called to do. As I trust you with my goals and plans. The leaps that I have been taking has me feeling that maybe nothing is possible, or what am I not doing enough? Am I really resting or just being lazy? 

God I’m having such a hard time with things. I am saying yes to the next doors. As I write out my frustrations, I realize to conclude this with praises and thanks. Father God thank you that I am not where I used to be. Many years ago I would be desperate, and settled for something as long as it could cover my bills being paid, but I am now in a space where I choose to trust you, despite how things may seem, despite what is the opposite of the norm. 

Thank you God for pulling me out from a space where I was unhappy, and just drowning every day. Thank you God for loving me through my fears and resistance. Thank you God for how I have the peace of God that surpasses all understanding. Thank you God that I am no longer bound to any chains that would be used to condemn me. Thank you God that I am still standing despite the many who tried to offer me the world. Thank you God I am still standing despite the many that tried to knock me down. I am only here today because of you God. 

On 4/4/14 you saved me. You walked me down that church aisle to the front of the altar, and I lay down my life. I said yes to walking in faith, and wanting to have a relationship with Jesus Christ. Father God thank you for breath. Thank you for everything. Thank you God as you hold what lays ahead for me. Father God I thank you that a relationship with you is forever evolving. Thank you God for all the unspoken things, that I have not mention or can’t recall. Thank you Abba, I love you. Amen.

(*denotes name change for privacy reasons)

Behold (Part II) — March 23, 2017

Behold (Part II)

3/23/17

Being still is very hard for me Father God, as I come to you no longer wanting to get suck in the reels of the Explorer page of Instagram. I lay down my desires with cosmetics, skin care, beauty regiments, and hair, body, nails. 

God I truly desire, and I come to lay it all down to you. I want your way father God over my own way. I want you to show me, and lead me instead of being self-lead. Father God this is something that I have been wrestling with you on for while, but I realize after this trip to Alabama that just passed it needs to end. It is always better to trust, and lean on you than on myself. I have such a hard time with being still because it’s a matter of control, and growing deeper in trusting you. 

Father God, make a way for me as I take a plunge to dive in your waters of trust. I am choosing gratitude of giving you these deepest desires of my heart over fear and control. Trust for so long father God was the hardest for me to do, but once I began to trust you Lord, and welcome you into my space, and proclaiming that I want only your presence to dwell on me that’s when you drove even greater changes in my life to happen. 

As I grow and draw near you Lord, I pray that I continue to trust you in giving you my desires and dreams. Very rarely father God do I talk about or mention these things to you. As I grow in your love Father, I found myself evolving in what you are placing in my heart, and I find myself having visions and dreams bigger than my heart can believe. 

God all these things lead back to you, and what you’ve placed in my heart. Everything that you have placed in my heart within me is for your kingdom. God I surrender the little that I have or known so far, so that there’s room for you to bless me with big. Father God, I pray that you reveal the plans of my life, or road paths to take, so that along the way I am praising you and giving you all the glory as it all comes back to you. 

Search me O’Lord, and any wickedness that is found within my heart take out and replace with your spirit of love, joy, kindness, and all the fruits of the Holy Spirit. Father God, show me want to do with the gifts, dreams, and desires that I have, and how to remain in tact on expanding your kingdom than feeding my flesh. Your gifts are to show those who do not know you why trusting you is better than trusting anyone else. 

With you by my side Lord I call you to guide me in all times especially in moments when I lack to seek you first. God as I continue to grow in running to you Father God I pray that all desires, dreams, and goals that are placed on my heart I pray over each, and every single decision that I am required or needed to make on them. 

I pray for both Regina Ann* and I, as we take a leap in the next phase, that you have already written out for us. Father God we say yes to your path, your will, your ways. Father God, we call on you to make and break any arsenal that we need or must dismantle. We pray to grow in spending more moments with you Lord, as whatever is next that we are entering into with you Lord lead us. 

We pray Lord that we spend more moments of stillness even now, as we are at rest and bay before you lay out the plans and guide our steps. Lord we come to you seeing why stillness is the way. As I write out all of this Father God, I see how stillness brings restoration and preparation before moving on to the next glory. I am being prepared for what’s next, and leaning on my own understanding was making me think that I have to quickly make moves, and figure out what are the next plans or steps to take. 

Abba, how you love me so much that you’ve blocked or stopped me in my tracks from looking like my former self. You are showing me how a reset is necessary in order to attain growth and healthy habits. Father God, I thank you so much for loving me, and from stopping me from creating more harm for myself. The hustle and bustle of what I use to do, cannot come with you and I to this next glory. So I choose to walk your path in peace and love as you lay the plans and blueprints on my heart. Amen.

Birming…..him — March 19, 2017

Birming…..him

We get attacks through changes and breakthroughs 

We get attacks through the dismantling of gauging how things are appearing in our eyes 

We get attacked just because we chose to be obedient 

We get attacked just because we choose to let go of what we use to do

Changes create a segue to leap into things that just might scare you, but also prepares you for greater truth

Reach beyond what you think you can teach

Seek beyond what you think you can meet in Him only 

God can only change you, not even you yourself or your idols 

Not your dreams coming true can manage you 

God has to salvage before you can be made new

The Maker is the King of what is truly dreams come true 

Let’s make history he tells me, 

I can’t do it if I’m not suppose to, 

it has to be His will above you

Do you hear me? 

I said I choose God above you 

That means I’m here to sharpen you in choosing truth, 

not to lose

Fear more than consumes you, 

it gives you things to breed that leads to you losing what’s good and truth

Trust me, that’s only in God to do the seeking in

He’s ready, he chooses truth and you 

Glory To The Lamb — January 8, 2017

Glory To The Lamb

Glory to the Lamb

Glory to the Lamb

Glory to the Lamb 

Everybody sing (Glory to the Lamb) 

We sing (Glory to the Lamb)

We give our (Glory to the Lamb)

We sing (Glory to the Lamb)

1/4/17

Lord, work in me. Something is stirring. This is hard. This is hard. Only you God can walk me through these various ranges of emotions, and show me how to give them all to you. I can’t explain the stirring of cries that I feel in my heart. Be with your children God. Be with those who are in the very space that I am in, and actively having to fight to trust and put you first. Lord, just walk with me as I live on this earth. Lead me to what it right and of you only. Lord, you have it all. I come to you because I can’t do this on my own. I cannot keep deluding myself to believe that I can. Walk with me God. Just hold me, and comfort me in this season of unknowing; point me in growing my blind faith, and trust in you. Show me God how to release these emotions on to you. Father God, work on my heart, mind, and keep me in your Holy Spirit.

And this is why, for he is (Alpha)

And Omega

Forever, forever is he

And he will bring (Grace)

Forever 

Holy, holy, holy, holy

Holy is he

 So together let’s sing glory 

To the Lamb

Father, we sing tonight, glory 

Glory to the Lamb

We give all the glory to the Lamb 

Jesus, it’s his name we give (Glory to the Lamb)

For he is (Alpha)

He’s the beginning (Omega)

And he is the end (forever)

Forever he remains and he will reign forever (He reigns)

With all power and authority (forever)

Forever he is king (Holy)

Holy is he, holy is he (holy is he) 

1/5/17

Father God at this prayer service that is happening tonight, I thank you for showing me what is the true spirit of humility, and sensitivity to your Spirit. Father God, I thank you for the push of not placing anything above you. Thank you God. 

God as I draw closer to you, and not feed my bad habits, I’m constantly attacked, and the lies of the enemy come to try to tear me down. God show me what to do and what to pray for. I doubt that my praying, and I am not sure rebuking actually leads to rebuking the lies of the enemy. I’m seeking you to not lean on my own understanding, and I’m coming to you wanting to know how to pray for your spirit of overcoming, in this battle that I’m in. Lord, please renew my mind to not feed, or believe in the past. As I choose to trust in your voice, and in who you’re calling me to be. God I seek you always. 

Glory to the Lamb

Glory to the Lamb 

The Holy one, we give glory to the Lamb

The sovereign one, we give glory to the Lamb

The almighty one, we give 

(Glory to the Lamb)

(Glory to the Lamb)

Great and marvelous are your deeds

Just and true are your words, Lord God Almighty (Glory to the Lamb)

Who will not fear you, oh, Lord and bring glory to the name 

(Glory to the Lamb) You alone are holy 

And all nations will come and worship before you (Glory to the Lamb)

Saints and angels sing 

The saints and angels sing glory to the Lamb (Glory to the Lamb) 

We sing glory to the Lamb (glory to the Lamb)

For thy is the kingdom 

And the power, and the glory forever 

Forever, Amen

1/7/17

There’s something wrong with me God when I’m just battling giving you all of my weeds. 

There’s something wrong with me God when I speak hate, anger, jealousy, and negativity. 

I break not build. No one knows this of me. There’s something wrong with me God, because my apologizes have been said one to many times; and they have now became white lies. 

There’s something wrong with my heart, because it doesn’t seem to know how to love or want to love or know how to fight for love. 

I cling to hate, rust, and what’s not from above. 

No wonder I’m where I am because I need to see the wrongness in me. So I look and pick on the wrongness of others. 

What happens now God? 

What can set me free from my judgmental-spitfire-mouth? 

How can I fight to choose love? 

How can I leap? 

How can I say that I’m an ambassador for Christ when I choose my veins and not the blood the Blood of the Lamb?

When does it hurt enough to want more than what I thought I was or want to be? 

I’m not a sister, I’m a foe. 

A pretender. Someone who can put on a good show. He is not the mister, he’s a role that I’ve became a obsessed with and won’t let go. 

I’m the chains of delusions and confusions. 

I’m the hurt that doesn’t want fixing. 

I want vengeance and my own form of victory, not yours Lord because it’s holy. 

I’m not holy, I’m poison and I want it. 

I’m dark and twisted. 

I’m not interested in what you have for me, because I became interested in my own poison. Now here I am wanting to be free, and no one wants me because of the history. 

He’s toying on what could be. 

She’s distant because of the ream that is on me. 

So Lord, oh Lord here’s the team that I won’t carry but release.

God be with me: my shortcomings, my battles, and pride. 

My insecurities, anger, and how I’m quickly to feed anger, jealousy, comparison and strife. Why am I so quick to choose these emotions but not give them to you? 

Why do I choose to get tripped up on the wrong things and not choose truth? 

I thought I was going to finally be healed from this and having to stopped writing a blog on the same things over and over again. 

This is an addiction. 

I’m an addict to the wrong thing. 

I’m not fighting hard enough to let go of these wrong spirits and choose love. 

Things have changed me and not fighting for love or peace or what’s from above. 

I’m so weak to the things that causes one to love and be strong. 

I don’t what this lifestyle no more, I want a healthy one. 

One that’s makes room for you Lord, not for my junk stuff. 

God, please show me to no longer live or be like an addict or someone who is obsessive and fixated on things.

God remove this weed please. 

Remove my stain and corrupted heart. 

I just want to be in peace and live in your trust. 

Father God, where I am now mentality is like a child who doesn’t know the Lord. I went backwards and not proceeded forward, show me how to not do that anymore. God, words have broken me, and I became their scars. God show me how to be sweet and not harsh. Show me how to be complete in who Jesus was, and is to come. I let go of the god-complex me. Victory has won.

I can’t do this anymore. I need to stop being so harsh. Our words can breathe life or death in your word, you show us that in James 3. If I breathe death then I could possibly end some people from not choosing you Lord. 

Oh how that’s a bad start to this walk. 

I need you. 

I’m in need of you. 

I need you. I’m in need of you. 

I need truth to bleed of you to be free from lies that won’t tell breathe death anymore. 

It’s you God, who holds truth and not my own understanding. 

So please hold me accountable to truly meditate on James 3, and fight to breathe your truths and not my habits.

Glory to the Lamb by Geoffrey Golden is such a powerhouse of voices colliding to awaken within us the Spirit of God to move and impact one another. It’s such a cry of worship and a revival of knowing how big, great, and amazing God is. 

Glory to the Lamb (to the Lamb)

We sing glory to the Lamb (Glory to the Lamb)

I’ll praise and I’ll worship your name 

To the Lamb

We sing glory to the Lamb 

Hallelujah 

Hallelujah

Hallelujah 

Hallelujah 

Declare something in the heavenly places 

Somebody just say, God is worthy, he’s mighty, he’s holy 

He’s able to do everything, c’mon, declare, something now 

In the heavenly place 

If you lift him, he’ll draw

If you lift him, he’ll draw

Happy reading!! Happy listening!! Blessings!!

Victory Belongs To Jesus  — December 23, 2016

Victory Belongs To Jesus 

Who will stand against the Lord

No one can, no one will

Who can stand against our King

No one can, no one will 

Oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh

Victory belongs to Jesus 

Victory belongs to him 

Oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh

Victory belongs to Jesus 

Victory belongs to him

I had a dream during my nap today God. In the dream there were kids from my school, and some other kids of whom I didn’t know. They were sitting in the dining, and living room area of my house taking a state test. I had to call up a parent because one of the kids was acting up during the exams. The height of some of the kids varied between short and tall. I at one point, thought will my kids will look short and Regina Ann’s* will look like models in the dream. I was comparing the kids, the very thing I hated done to me when I was growing up, I’ve projected on the kids. Clean my heart Lord. 

Who can stand against the Lord

No one can, no one will

Who can stand against the King

No one can, no one will

Lunch time came, and the parent came after the phone call that was about their child’s behavior during testing. The parent was looking through my papers on the desk, and said “isn’t it lunch time”? They were testing, and needed to eat, so they went to the backyard through the basement of my house. 

Victory belongs to Jesus 

Victory belongs to him

Victory belongs to Jesus 

Victory belongs to him

This girl named Olive looked like Regina Ann’s daughter. Then the rest of the kids were lined up alongside the wall from the basement of my house go to outside. Outside of my house, in the backyard was where there were picnic tables set up, for people that were around the tables seemed familiar; but I couldn’t make out their faces. Once the kids grabbed their lunch, they found their way upstairs to my room; that was turned into an indoor dining patio set. I was standing in the door way/threshold between two rooms. 

Victory belongs to Jesus 

Victory belongs to him

Victory belongs to Jesus 

Victory belongs to him

The neighboring room had a huge 24 pink styrofoam canvas, that was on the wall where the DJ table was set up. The room had imprints of me but it wasn’t my room any longer. So I walked in quickly able to glance at all of this and then quickly stepped out. As I was turning back to head to the room where the students were in, I saw coming up the stairway was B*. 

So we put our trust in you

Yes, we put our hope in 

He was informing me that it was his birthday, and invited me in to see the room. B was showing me the room, and we were on the bed that was against the wall; exactly how my bed is placed now in my room. B’s bed had the same pink Tommy Hilfiger sheets that is currently on my bed. He had four pillows against the wall, and his main pillow had some 90’s blue Coogi sweater designed to it. I was like saying something to him about the pillows, and was like “wow, you have four! Do you need all of them?” And he replied, “nah I don’t need them you can have them.” I was pulling off the pink pillowcases to take the pillows then stopped. 

That’s when the role playing started but nothing sexual happened. I wanted something to happened. The role playing was beginning to get violent because of how I found myself laying down on the bed, he grabbed my shoulders and hands from standing over me, and then I somehow found myself releasing from his weird grip. I was able to escape, but then B faced me and blood was coming out from the inner corner of his eyes; then he said this is what my mom went through on her wedding day, and that’s when I woke up. The dream represented the cumulative of everything that has been buried deep inside of me. The fact that I wanted something to happened between us, is an indicator of how I saw men, and how I see sex. Individuals that I should always have sex with, no wonder I was blocked and limited from dating. I’ve set myself to be a name brand junkie, and really based my worth on labels and how things looked from a worldly and broken standpoint, that it has been a constant prayer for God to renew my mind. I’m in constant prayer for God to hold me accountable to change my ways. 

You will deliver 

You’re a provider

I find my victory in you

Forever victorious 

Forever we win 

I find my victory in You

Turning 24 is the year that I’ve been stuck on, especially with specific moments in my life. I’ve been on replay with that day. 

You will deliver 

You’re a provider

I find my victory in you

Forever victorious 

Forever we win 

I find my victory in You

To me, 24 was the best birthday party and Regina Ann came to my birthday party and was represented as anchor to me. Regina Ann was someone I needed in my life. The God in me knew that. My mindset back then on friendship was that I’m always going to have to rotate friends, but that I was willing to settle for how Regina Ann was meant to be in my life. I was accustomed to settling in everything, no longer can I continue this. 

Victory belongs to Jesus 

Victory belongs to him

Victory belongs to Jesus 

Victory belongs to him

Victory belongs to Jesus 

Victory belongs to him

Victory belongs to Jesus 

Victory belongs to him

I catered to the expectation of always settling in every area of my life: with my job, my 24th birthday, that had alcohol, and settling with a guy. 

Victory belongs to Jesus 

Victory belongs to him

Victory belongs to Jesus 

Victory belongs to him

Victory belongs to Jesus 

Victory belongs to him

Victory belongs to Jesus 

Victory belongs to him

I surrender my 24th birthday God. I publicly settled with everything and God was determined to dismantle me settling with everything in the heart and mind. God is walking through settling, and me being dead. I was fixated on celebrating death. 

Now that I’m walking with you God thank you for keeping me safe, teach me to focus on celebrating life with those that truly love me. Show me how to love boldly and unafraid. Show me how to let go of the girl in middle school and high school, and all the way up to coming into faith on 4.4.14. To have self love and self esteem; and not the need to be accepted by others. Show me to switch my mindset that even though I work in a middle school God, I’m not in middle school. 

Show me how to accept that I can’t reverse time. God you had to keep me in a box, even though I was in the world and tried to join the world by application, you as my applicator rejected that process and I can no longer reject what’s not of you. I pray for my children for the ones I teach and the ones that will come from my womb to always fight to be their best self. I pray for B* to let go of the church he’s in so he can trust you with better. I let go of the familiarity that B* and I had to want something to happen. 

I never want to feed the wrong emotions intentionally and get a rise out of the ribcage you say is for me God. I choose to trust that this man will never hurt me, and that I should not want to get a rise out of him. All he wants to do is protect me, and walk through my brokenness. I choose to chase after you God and never compare the man you have for me with another man. I choose to speak love, not death ever again. I choose to see my blessings and to love him how he needs. God please prepare me to be what you need to be and what my ribcage needs. God I surrender all my obsessive qualities. God show me how to reach my students’ parents God, and focus on you not man, in lust, validation, or acceptance. You’re the man God I need to focus on only. God you kept me safe, change my mindset. God when something is meant to be you part the seas God. So I say yes to being foolish about your business, and not on the foolishness of the world. Amen. 

Victory Belongs To Jesus by Todd Delaney are filled with lyrics that pretty much sums up where and how I feel because the victory does belong to him.

Happy reading!! Happy listening!! Blessings sibs!!! Happy Holidays!! 

(* denotes name change for privacy reasons) 

Prayer Entry #2 — November 26, 2016

Prayer Entry #2

11/23/16

Father God, I come to lift up my sister Nicole* in prayer. Father God be with her as you have been prompting her with truths that she has been ignoring. Continue to be the one to guide her path to be align with you, and not lean on her own understanding. Move her out of her own way God. Father God, show her that your love is the healing and the meal that she needs. What she is looking for will not be satisfy somewhere else, but only in you. Lord you have this, take the wheel on her life. I lift her up to you because you are the Father of the perfect Son, who gave the world the blood to change us. To shed us. Shed her old wine skin Lord, to a new one. Shed her ways Lord to new ones to look more like you. Father, part the seas in her life to find freedom in Jesus. I pray for her peace Lord. Amen. 

Note: I’ve been wrestling with God with posting my prayers. I felt that they should be kept hidden, but as God continues to work in me and my vulnerability, I surrender the control of me holding myself back from others on who God is calling me to be. As I am lead or heart pressed to write prayers for my brothers and sisters in Christ, I know that God is pushing me outside of my comfort zone. 

(* denotes name change for privacy reasons)

Prayer Entry #1 — October 30, 2016

Prayer Entry #1

Father God be with your daughter, you know every strand on her head, just be with her God. She needs you in facing the realities of her decisions, and understanding what you’ve allowed her to walk through, is all part of her purpose and testimony. 

Father God, be with your daughter as she begins to transition to womanhood, from the in between phase she’s in now. Be with your daughter as she chooses to trust you, and lean on you as you guide her. Father I pray through her revelations, she open eyes, and she sees that she cannot do this on her own. 

Her reject for needing help from others, creates the self-made facades of false dependence. She cannot do this on her own. Father God, surround her with sisters, and her family who will truly push her to draw closer to you God. Push your daughter to see things from your views of infinite wisdom. 

Father God, lead this beautiful daughter down your ways and paths. For as we all once thought we knew better than you God, when the truth is, we never will. Father God, you have her and thy will be done. Thy kingdom come. In Jesus name, we say amen.


Note
: God has pressed it on my heart to start writing out prayers for his daughters, my sisters. So this is the first entry. I am truly shock that God is creating this space in my blog dedicated to prayers for his daughters. I am in awe as he will take over and put the words in my heart to write out. God you lead I just say yes to your plans for this blog. Amen. 

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